Do Overs

We all know that we are where we are in life today by the choices we made in the past. On Pinterest today a quote read, "Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places".  You get the idea.  Though I am quite contented in my present state of being, I have thoughts of what I would do if I could have a life do over.  Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era and wrong nationality, but that can be a subject for another day.
To set the ground rules, I will just go back to 1962 and Mid-West, USA. I would not change the basic format in which I was born; 5th child and only daughter.  These things have bode me well.  The do overs I would want are to take some different paths and to make some different choices. One thing I would do differently would be to actually practice that damn piano and learn to play the guitar.  What a missed opportunity; and I tried piano lessons twice!!!  People tell me it is never too late to learn these things, but I really don't see it happening.  Yeah, on occasion I piddle with the guitar and I can play a few chords, but I would never be able to sit around a campfire and play folk music like they do in the movies.
My parents never really made me work as a kid.  I would like to have put forth a bit more effort to help them with the cooking and cleaning.  Perhaps along the way I would have learned how to prepare my own meals instead of "relying on the kindness of strangers" in restaurants. I did babysit a whole lot from about 10 year old until I could drive (and for 50 cents an hour regardless of the number of children), so I think I learned a lot about responsibilty and money management.  Upon becoming vehicularly mobile, what I SHOULD have done was to get a job at The Rock of Krakow, KLPW FM.  Growing up in the decades of the 1960's and 1970's, I was exposed to the best classic rock music ever created. Many an hour was spent listening to my transistor radio tied to the monkey-bar handle bars of my banana seat bike, the turntable and 8-track player in my bedroom, and the analog car stereo.  I absorbed so much music trivia that I think I could have become a great disc jockey.  My students used to tell me that I had a great voice for radio (probably a great face for it, too).
Though I wanted to be a school teacher since the 5th grade (big shout out to Mrs. Clarkson et al) I should have put more effort into the study of the sciences and not the humanities.  I loved teaching history and all those other social sciences, but had I had a background in real science I could have become a forensics person.  Also, I should have entertained the idea of joining the military.  Fortunately for my generation, the members of the military saw little to no combat.  All the benefits without too much danger...that would work for me (don't go getting all 'Merican on me for that one...I'm just saying...). 
I would NOT have gotten married, especially the first time.  Just trying to live the fairy tale and do what everyone else was doing.  It would have been nice if I had had enough self-esteem to just be myself.  This is one of the things I feel saddest about...all that wasted time trying to fit in to society's ideal.  Not being true to myself and others.  Hurting several people along the way.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and mentally beat myself up for quitting teaching after 21 years.  Another 2 years and I would be retired, foot loose and fancy free.  As it stands now, I will have to work another 10 years until I can collect my pension(s).  But I cannot dwell on that; I made that choice and that boat has sailed.  I would have worked after retiring anyway,  and where I am currently employed I am earning a pretty good pension and 401K.  Besides that, with the economy the way it is, my investments are worth half of what they were to begin with.  Suck it up; life goes on.
As for right now, I am more free than I have ever been.  I have had a pretty good life and have a lot for which to be grateful.  The do overs are just the what ifs that we all have hidden in our hearts.  Though I might have wanted to do somethings differently, I don't think I would want to change the place where I am currently.  It's all good.

Loss and Found

In a fleeting moment of lucidity, a revelation occurred to me:  The meaning of life is learning how to lose.  As children, we play games.  Sometimes we win, but more often we lose and have to do so without taking our ball home or crying.  We fall in love, and unlike the fairy tales read, often lose those loves to someone else. During our lives we lose money, jobs, friends, our health, sometimes our way, occasionally our minds.  We are born, live, and die, losing loved ones in the process.  So what life teaches us is how to lose (hopefully with dignity), overcome loss, and carry on.

However, sometimes we find.  Finding is usually a lot more fun, especially when it is a surprise.  A friend of ours keeps a running tally of how much money she finds.  My grandfather used to say that you can't find money looking in the air, so I have always walked with my eyes to the ground.  I have found an occasional coin (once I found $250), but they are getting fewer and further between as people use more credit/debit cards.  Today, Jokker was the big winner.  We took the dogs for a walk in Creve Coeur Park.  Because the trails were really muddy we walked the fields.  As we strolled the perimeter of the softball field I found a nice florescent softball.  Jokker love balls, so there was a long game of throw and fetch.  Figuring it was his lucky day, we circled the whole outfield.  We found 4 softballs in really great condition.  There is a tennis court adjacent to the ball field, so we walked it as well.  Here we found 8 tennis balls (Jokker's ball of choice).  As we headed back to the vehicle, Jokker pranced ahead of us with a new tennis ball in his mouth!  It was a dog day indeed.

Jokker and his stash!

 

 

So I figure the old adage is true, "You win some and you lose some".

The Eagle has landed!

What a wonderful day.  Started the morning off by attending the golf expo in St. Charles.  Met up with some of our friends, saw some more of our friends, got some nice swag, and purchased our 314Golf card for the season.

By the time we arrived home, the Wrinklies were here.  Got 2 packages in the post and one of them was for me!  A new green hoodie sweatshirt to wear to the gym...what a treat.

Off we go in the mini-van up the Great River Road to look for bald eagles.  We went last Sunday and saw dozens of them.  Today we saw a fair amount as well.  Got a few photos but did not have my telephoto lens.  Bad Donna.  Should have remembered that from last time.  Did get some nice shots of things that could be bald eagles, but when you zoom in they pixelate too much.  At least I know what they are.

Of course, a trip across the Lewis and Clark Bridge would not be complete without a stop at the infamous FAST EDDIES!  Shrimp, burgers, chick on a stick, brats, and fries.  5 people full as toads.  On the ride home we stopped for ice cream.  Don't tell my trainer, Brett.

A nice visit at home with the Wrinklies before they left for home.  Time to reflect on how wonderful my parents are.  They have done a first rate job of raising 5 children, assisting in raising 9 grandchildren, and enjoying the two great-grandkids.  They have instilled in us the best of their qualities, values, and beliefs.  They have also shared great portions of themselves with so many people...it is difficult to know how far reaching their influence has been.  I wish I was a selfless as they have been; but alas, I am not.  Still, I hope to strive for improvement.
Honestly, I just adore them!

As the evening waxes on I am going to kick back and watch a little telly.  Tomorrow is scheduled to a slow, relaxing day (I hope).  See if you can spot the eagles in the photo below:

Look straight up from here.

A nice day was had by all...

Welcome to the Unkindness, Conspiracy, or Constable:

Actually, welcome to my blog.  It is titled "Stark Raven Mad".  The name came to me the other day as things usually do, in a moment of fleeting inspiration.  After discussing the how-to's with my friend KP, I decided to jump on into the deep end and start blogging.  If you are reading this, you have taken the plunge, too.  Come on in; the water is fine.

For ages I have been interested in the terms for groups of animals.  Since my blog's mascot is the Raven, I did some research.  A group of Ravens is referred to as an Unkindness, a Conspiracy, or a Constable.  Since I do not think of my self as an unkind person, I am passing on using that term.  I am NOT a conspiracy theorist, so that one is also out the window.  If you follow my blog you will eventually learn that I am an ANGLOPHILE, and the term Constable is British English for peace officer.  This is the best fit for me.

I envision this blog as my stream of consciousness outlet.  Who knows what it will evolve into (yes, I believe in evolution...everything evolves all the time).  I think it will be fun to see.

So there you have it, my first posting.  Thanks for reading and check in now and again.  Let's see where this can take us.